my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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