I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
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We need to rekindle our bromance
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
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I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
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