I smell stomach acid.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
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