I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
