This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
