in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
