just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
i've created a new STD.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
