No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
