do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Randomize
