There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
Randomize
