What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
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