Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I have fence marks all over my body
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
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