You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
