u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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