just come out here and I will go home with you...
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
