The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
