i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Randomize
