i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
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