$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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