We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
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