Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
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