i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Randomize