I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Houston, we have a squirter
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Randomize
