He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.