i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
