Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Randomize