Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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