We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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