Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize
