How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Randomize