Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Randomize
