Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
