vagina is talking i cant
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
