I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Randomize
