party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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