I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
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It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
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