I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
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