Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
