Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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