how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
