just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
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