awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I didn't notice because vodka
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
