a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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