I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
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