Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
