that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
