why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
