just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Man, jail baloney is awful.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
