Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
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