I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
