glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
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