So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
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