Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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