Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
