I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
i already hear my dad disowning me
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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