and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Randomize
