take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
