omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
be right there i have to get my cape
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Randomize