Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
areolas are like halos for boobs.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
