So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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