Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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