My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
