he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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